Hope is found

So Big updates. I got a bike & helmet, but haven't been able to get out of the house to go riding. But today my sweet Mother-in-law bought a stationary bike for herself that she said I could use as well. I sat down and did a few minutes. It was magical, my feet quickly started loosening up. I have hope of this helping my achilles.

I also went in to see an NP who specializes in hormones. I have a hormone imbalance that she says explains why I had the pain for years. How come its so easy for me to gain weight but almost impossible to loose. My irregular periods, and my body trying to act pregnant when its not. So I'm starting progesterone & starting a carb restricted diet. 
Thing is, I've been counting carbs and haven't really changed much & doing great in staying under my limited amount. Right now I'm at 90 carbs for the day... my allotted amount is 180. :) And I even had ice cream today. Yay. Though it is surprising what it does & doesn't count. Such as cheese & meat are really low in carbs.
The nice thing.... Vegetables don't count! So I can eat as many vegetables as I want! Yay!
So I'm going along and I think this will at least help. God willing. I'm trying, and I have hope.

BedRest

So in not so many words, I'm on a lenient bed rest order. I VERY much so dislike it at this point. But what am I going to do when the pain starts when I try to do the smallest thing. I can ignore it but then I'm dealing with it pretty severe the next couple of days like I've learned this week.
There's so much going on. I want to be a part of it, but I can only do so much.
I want to know I matter, that the love I have offered up to so many isn't just sitting there ignored. That no matter what happens I'm not going to be forgotten.
I wish I could be there more for some. I might need more help with something than I'm getting, or Sierra might have to pay.
Sierra is such a bright and beautiful young woman. She gets things, she understands, she makes connections even some pretty obscure ones for a three year old. She's brilliant, loving, caring, Motherly, and deserves the siblings she's been begging for that I know now will be a miracle too when they come.
Andrew's to a point where he can sing 'Lead Kindly Light' in his heart. I can too most the time. But right now. Right now I'm praying this pain isn't a sign I need to wait too much longer for Sierra's siblings. And that I can handle being tied down in the mean time.
I'm grateful I'm not alone. I'm grateful that I know I'm not alone. Thanks for letting me be selfish.

2 or 3 Months

So right now, after a couple of days of testing I have no real answers. I probably won't till Monday. But even then, I've seen the results, just haven't heard the Dr's opinion. But last we talked he said he wants me to still take things easy, and not do anything different (included not trying to loose weight) for the next 2 or 3 months. So I don't know what that will bring, but I won't be trying to loose weight anytime soon.

Interesting Things

I have had some.... interesting things happening with my body lately. I went to see the Dr yesterday, he basically said, 'Let's take some tests.' So, for now.... All I have to say is you shall have to wait with me to find out the answers.

I guess I should update

So I started PT and seeing a Podiatrist. It actually seems to be helping. But Andrew just had surgery, and taking care of him has taken a higher priority.
My feet have Achilles tendinitis. I will take care of myself, but I just need to find the time. Right now I'd rather spend that time reading scriptures and studying rather than stretches & PT. I'll find a way.
Yesterday was the actual surgery and in the midst of it I forgot to stop and weigh myself like I normally do on Tuesdays. So that will wait until next week.
I've been PMSing lately but besides that I'm doing great. I feel much healthier and directed in my health than I have in a while.
I've also started using Andrew's Mother's treadclimber. I really enjoy it, and it feels refreshing. I'm a little sore if I get all the time I want on it (that hasn't happened yet, but I have gotten up to 45 min numerous times).

Tempted

I have never believed in extremes, yet part of me is starting to wonder if I'll have to do something big to get where I feel I need to be. Even though my weight is at 290, everytime I think about it the numbers 190 keep coming to mind. I wonder if I could actually reach that weight. I have only dreamed of that. But... Well I'm wondering. I keep thinking of doing something like cutting bread and dairy out of my diet for a month or something and see what happens. I'm not sure though. I know that things like that only help if you are going to commit to a change in your life. I don't think I could do a permanent change. But I want to be healthier.
I'm now thinking that my options with my ankles are decreasing. I haven't even been able to do any yoga this week because of my ankles. Its getting bad.

I wan to be healthy. I want to feel better. I want to be capable, and feel capable of the things I'm passionate about. What's it going to take? I am actually capable of hearing the answer to that?

Ankles

I truly am grateful to have ankles. I mean who doesn't enjoy being able to bend there? But! I am sick of mine. My life is getting harder because of the pain in mine. I keep trying to be diligent in yoga, but I can only get so far before my feet and ankles are yelling, "ENOUGH!" Then I'm limping for a good time after. And its not just yoga, yoga is actually probably the easiest on them. But I need to exercise. I feel so much better about myself. I'm actually acting like myself, and I feel like myself. It's a small amount of me time. But its mine, and it allows me to remember how good my body is to me and why it deserves better health.
Blech. I do not like these ankles and the throbbing coming. I haven't seen a Dr about them in years. But I'm just about to the point I might. I just have to find time. ........................................................Has anybody found that new body parts store yet? (Yes I am being sarcastic.)